Home care is good, so use it

Families who are caring for a loved one can sometimes struggle to know when it is the right time is to ask for help. Quite often I find that families leave it too late, and they are almost on their knees with exhaustion or the stress of juggling work, children and a busy life by […]

Read More

FREE Family and Carer Information Event

  Q: When should I start talking to my parents about their future care thoughts and wishes? Q: I’ve promised my mum I wouldn’t put her in a home, but now she needs more care than I can give her and I’m exhausted. What should I do? It’s four weeks now until my first I’m […]

Read More

Making the most of life!

You want your mum to live life to the full, to be sociable and, most of all, to be happy. So why doesn’t she seem to want the same thing? It’s difficult and frustrating for family carers when their mum loses motivation to go out as they used to, or just outright refuses to leave […]

Read More

Prepare for the time of your life!

The arrival of a new baby leads to 9 months of physical and practical preparation. It’s tough to manage a new baby on your own so being able to afford to choose what you want to buy whilst getting the right equipment, support and advice can make a huge difference to the wellbeing of the […]

Read More

How can we live to be 100 and be happy!?

If you are over 50 years of age, I bet I’ve got your attention now! Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to that or else I’d be a very rich woman indeed!   I suspect we all know the secret for living longer. The NHS is keen to give us guidance on this; eat well and […]

Read More

Facebook Posts

I spoke to a daughter recently, who was concerned because her mum is in her 80’s and still driving, and she asked me for some advice.

Nothing is more important than your mum’s safety and, of course, the safety of other road users or pedestrians. However, if your mum wants to continue driving, she is mentally and physically healthy, and has good eyesight, there is no reason in law to stop her. You might think it is cause for concern but if she is driving familiar routes to the shops and back, and hasn’t had an accident, why are you worried? Deal with your mum as she is now; you don't have to to worry about the 'what ifs' until they actually happen.

Once a driver reaches 70 years of age, they are required by the DVLA to declare that they have no medical disability. From 70 years onwards, drivers need to renew their licence every three years (as opposed to every 10 years for younger drivers).

Please share your experience and any tips about keeping your mum safe.

If you have any concerns, please pm me and I'll be happy to offer some advice about your particular circumstances.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

I couldn’t resist posting this today, it really made me smile.
Today is the day we all have to wear a mask (or cover our noses and mouths with a scarf) in shops and in places where we are unable to keep a physical distance from other people.

As we're all going to be wearing masks for a while, chose one with a design which makes you feel happy and fits your personality. You don't have to have a medical grade mask which looks clinical and reminds you of sickness. Show me your mask in the comments below:

Remember, you are wearing a mask to keep health and safe.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 weeks ago

I'm Worried About Mum

Love them or loath them, we are all going to be wearing a face covering from Friday 24th July. You could also wear a scarf or bandana which covers your mouth and nose. You don't have to have a disposable medical one which reminds you of hospitals, there are so many different types of fabrics to choose from.

If you wear a hearing aid, glasses or earrings, choose your mask carefully: people have told me that the type which hooks over your ears can tangle with all of these. You can get ones which have a double strap which goes over your hair rather than your ears, so check these out too. Masks with a wire to fit around your nose mean that your glasses wont mist up.

If the thought of wearing a mask makes you feel anxious choose one which you feel comfortable in. You can get a mask in a fabric which feels light and allows you to breath freely. Remember, this mask is keeping you and everyone around you safe
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

It was great to meet you too Janet.Great to connect with another local business this week and to find somebody with the same passion and values to help others. www.imworriedaboutmum.com

Thank you for sending me some sunshine Sally.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

Clearer information is finally coming through from the Government about wearing masks and the exemptions.

Everyone is expected to wear a mask in shops , on public transport and when you are unable to keep a safe distance from people in cafes and restaurants.

“You do not need to wear a face covering if you have a legitimate reason not to". This includes:

✅ young children under the age of 11
✅ not being able to put on, wear or remove a face covering because of a physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability
✅ if putting on, wearing or removing a face covering will cause you severe distress
✅ if you are travelling with or providing assistance to someone who relies on lip reading to communicate
✅ to avoid harm or injury, or the risk of harm or injury, to yourself or others
✅ to avoid injury, or to escape a risk of harm, and you do not have a face covering with you
✅ to eat or drink, but only if you need to
✅ to take medication
✅ if a police officer or other official requests you remove your face covering

There are also scenarios when you are permitted to remove a face covering when asked:

✅ If asked to do so by shop staff for the purpose of age identification
✅ If speaking with people who rely on lip reading, facial expressions and clear sound. Some may ask you, either verbally or in writing, to remove a covering to help with communication

For exemptions in different parts of the UK please refer to the specific guidance for Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

I’ve watched a really good webinar today, where the speaker was advising self-funding families (those who can afford to and want to pay for their own care) about care fee annuities. A care annuity is a way of putting a cap on care costs for your relative, whether that care is at home or in a care home. 85% of people researching care funding don’t even know this is an option.

I’m going to write something up to share with you, but if anyone is interested in finding out more about their specific circumstances now, please contact me tel 07923 184316 and we can talk about it further.

Have you heard of a care annuity? Might it have been an option for you if you’d known about it at the time?
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

Difficult conversations:

Most of the time, we want an easy life, free of conflict and uncomfortable moments. As your parents grow older, and more reliant on you, there are times when you have to take the lead and you can’t avoid having that difficult conversation.

It takes a lot of guts, but it isn’t something you should put off. The issues aren’t going to go away, they will fester and cause you more worry.

Here are some guidelines to follow to get the best out of a difficult conversation:

1. Use ‘I’ statements, be clear about what the issue is, how you feel about it and what you want to achieve
2. Then let them speak.
3. Listen carefully, and don’t interrupt. When they’ve finished, repeat back what you heard, “I can hear you feel strongly about that mum.” This shows you are listening to their side, and you are also communicating that you know it isn’t just about you, you are looking for a joint solution.
4. Don’t say things you don’t mean, especially if it contradicts what you have just been saying: eg ‘don’t worry mum,’ ‘okay, let’s leave it for now,’ or ‘it’s fine’ …… when it clearly isn’t.
5. Leave time for silences in the conversation. These can help you both absorb what has just been said.
6. Don’t let things get heated; just because your mum gets angry or frustrated doesn’t mean you have to. This is often an attempt to close down the conversation because it is too painful for your mum to face. All this means is you are both stalling and you’ll have to have the same difficult conversation further down the line.
7. Close the conversation on a positive note eg “I’m so glad we spoke about this, I’m sure we can work something out together.”

Let me know how you go on. If there is a difficult conversation you can't start, contact me and I will help you say what needs to be said Tel 07923184316
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

Have you got ‘Lockdown Syndrome’ - does the thought of starting to come out of lockdown on Saturday 4th July scare you? Are you still worried about you or your loved ones catching coronavirus?

I can be honest and say I’m quite nervous about it, mainly because so many people seem to think the threat of coronavirus is over. When I was out on a walk recently, I saw a man shake hands with someone he hadn’t seen in a while and it really shocked me.

Having said that, I’m almost giddy about having my hair cut on Saturday, my last one was in February, my hair is growing wilder by the day. I’m still very conscious of keeping myself safe when I go for my appointment though.

Tell me how you’re feeling about coming out of lockdown.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

1 month ago

I'm Worried About Mum

I have exciting news to share with you today!

My first monthly email newsletter will be going out on Wednesday 1st July. This is an opportunity for me to focus on the issues facing family carers and share my knowledge with you.

If you want me to add you to the mailing list for exclusive advice and information, please comment below saying 'Add me.' If I haven't got your email address please PM me
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

Be ready for the biggest thank you ever on July 5th at 5pm 🥰

NHS Charities Together
NHS staff. Local volunteers. Keyworkers. Is there a thank you big enough? We’re going to try! Join us on Sunday 5th July at 5pm for The Biggest Thank You Ever. RSVP now to get exclusive posters, recipes, decorations and more: www.nhscharitiestogether.co.uk/rsvp/
🌈💙 #ThankYouTogether
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

It's ice cream weather again! Keep safe and make sure older people are drinking plenty of fluids and staying out of the sun.

As your mum gets older, her body isn't able to retain the heat in the same way as when she was younger, and its often difficult to notice when an older person is getting dehydrated.
The best thing to do is to offer plenty of fluids throughout the day, and stay in the coolest room of the house or part of the garden
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook
View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

RIP Vera Lynn aged 103 years.

Best known for being the ‘forces sweetheart’ giving outdoor concert to the troops in Burma, Egypt during World War 2. She continued singing throughout her career, releasing an album when she was 100 years old.

She was also involved in charity work with ex-servicemen and women, disabled children and breast cancer throughout her life.

Vera Lynn, an inspirational woman to the end, do you agree?
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum
View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

From today June 15th it is compulsory to wear a face covering on public transport. This means a scarf or bandana with covers your mouth and nose, not a surgical type face mask.

There are exemptions though; for children under 3 years, people with autism or a learning disability or mental health issues. Also for anyone who has breathing problems. If you know someone who is exempt, you need to tell them to carry one of these cards.

If you do need one, please let me know and I’ll send you the card to print off.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

Support bubbles explained ....... ... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

Q: I help my mum as much as I could during the Covid-19 lockdown, but I'm back at work now and now it's getting to be too much for me. How do I get her to accept help from someone outside the family?

A: You need to sit down with her and have a conversation to tell you how you feel. Tell her that you love her, but use 'I' statements such as; I feel tired, I can't carry on, it's getting to much for me on my own.
Say that you have been looking into employing a carer to help out, and that you'd like her to meet them. Tell her she will be in control and have the final say, because it has to be someone she can work with. Don't wobble or backdown, and involve her in every step of the process.
If you need to talk it through first, just let me know.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

Q: What is attendance allowance and how do I claim it for my mum?

A: Attendance Allowance (AA) is a benefit offered to people over the age of 65 years who have a disability or illness that makes it hard to look after themselves. Your mum can spend it however she likes on personal care which she needs in her own home, such as help to wash or dress, pay for a gardener or a cleaner.

There are 2 rates: a higher rate of £89.15 and a lower rate of £58.70 per week. The amount you get will depend on how much help you need, and it could help your mum stay independent in her own home for longer. Go on to www.gov.uk and search for AA. Download the form, or fill it in online, if you want any help with this let just me know.
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook

2 months ago

I'm Worried About Mum

Q: what is the difference between a social services social worker and an independent social worker?

A: Great question to start the day, thank you J

We are both trained and in the same way, both registered with Social Work England and have to comply with our professional registration, framework of practice and confidentiality.

A SW for the Council has a statutory role, ie required by law, such as safeguarding vulnerable adults and needs assessment. They have large caseloads, a lot of paperwork and spend a lot of time in the office filling it in.

An Independent SW decides themselves how best to use their skills and experience. I have chosen to work with family carers, and I spend most of my time working directly with them, because I don't need to fill in forms and record everything I do. I work with a small number of families at a time so that I can be available when they need me. I can focus on you and offer completely independent advice which is tailored to your circumstances.

What is your experience of working with a council social worker or independent social worker?
... See MoreSee Less

View on Facebook